J,
It concerned me after reading your recent blog entry. Girl, you can do better than that. As I recall one of our past conversations, we talked about how people sometimes have their moments of weakness and do/think stupid things, and I am no exception.
Sweetheart, you are only 25 and probably going thru what I call "the quarter life crisis". Honestly, there really is no hurry to get into a relationship, get married, and have babies anytime soon. I wish I were 25 again and have all the energy to hold three jobs, go to grad school, and party all the time.
Life is wonderful and full of promises at age 25.
I wish I was not trapped in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere when I was 25. Please read Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" page 1-28 then you'll understand what I am talking about.
I seriously don't miss the relationship inertia (hm, I tend to use this word very often lately). I learned to live well and be happy alone.
I don't miss the "routine" of rushing home straight from work, cooking and eating dinner with the same person every night. And I certainly don't miss going to Walmart and doing chores for two people every weekend.
When guys who are in their mid-twenty and tell me they want to settle down with someone and have a committed relationship. I would think 1. you are naive. 2. you want to score a date with me, with an assumption that I want to settle down like... tomorrow because I am older than you (that happened to me a few times lately).
Don't get me wrong, I am not jaded. I miss the feeling of craving for a person, I miss being infatuated with someone, I miss the butterflies, and I want to be able to say -- "loving you means everything to me" to someone someday and for the rest of my life. I like attention from the person I love, but not to the level that I need to be a 24/7 couple with him.
When a guy tells you he doesn't want to have a relationship while he is hooking up with you. Don't even think twice that he might change his mind. No matter how often he compliments you, he is just not that into you.
Call me when you feel lonely. Do not sell yourself short and compromise. You have a lot to offer, and you will find someone wonderful.
And I, too, decided to throw away all my baggages and start new.
-E
