My notes

Almost wanted to name it "life's little notes", but it's just too cliche and corny. Dear friend Cathy Yang emailed me a compilation of advice her friend - Janice Shih put together for another friend who just graduated from college.  Some of the points really struck me, and I want to share with you too in terms of how I relate to them.  I have successfully done some of them, I learned some of them thru mistakes I made, and I am still learning some others.


On Finance -

Be able to support yourself financially- it is extremely liberating- be good with money, don't go into debt, figure out how to save, invest, get a good job to support yourself. Don't ever depend on someone else to support you, even after you get married.  Maintain your financial independence so that you can support yourself if you need to- not to be morbid, but you never know what is going to happen and too many women get trapped.

Stay away from credit cards - unless you pay the balance each month.

- Being raised by parents who are clueless about money and investing and having to work since age 14 have taught me the value of money.  I have always been good at the above.


On Career -

You can try 5 different careers in your 20s. It will make you interesting and fun. Everyone likes to hear about my adventures working for a matchmaker and a kickball organization.

- Hm... I haven't tried that many yet, and I am happy working in tech.


On Health -
Running is a gift you give yourself!
- I have been doing it at least once a week either in the gym or by the Emeryville Marina.  This routine is extremely important to me.

Take excellent care of yourself.  Remember that YOU have to take care of yourself. No one else will take care of you.
- Learned that in my early twenties after staying in a hospital for 2 days for a severe flu, heavy nose bleeding, and malnutrition caused by tremendous stress from school and life during my final year at college.

Don't drink too much- being hungover is such a waste of time- you could be spending enjoying all that life has to offer.
- Still learning about that.  I am not denying that I have a minor alcohol issue.  But I admit nursing hungover is absolutely a big waste of time.

Never stop learning- get an advanced degree and always be pushing yourself to grow.
- Still trying to accomplish that, only if i partied less.

On Attitude -

Be a good, nice person- regret and reputation are hard to shake. You can be the most beautiful person on the outside; but, if you aren't good on the inside- it doesn't matter. Positive examples are Aubrey Hepburn and Paul Newman.
- Learned that over time.

 Be grateful- focus on what you have instead of comparing yourself to other people and lamenting what you do not- all the good in your life will pass you by if you do.
- Stopped doing that long time ago, and life has been wonderful since.

Don't "awfulize" things - take things in stride, learn from them and move on to be a better person. Don't waste time dramatizing, start fixing!
- I am getting better at it now, but still need more practicing

On Relationship and Friendship -
He's not worth crying over.
- Yes, no one is worth my tears anymore. 

Be open to meeting all types of new friends and just keep smiling
- Always my thing. :)
When you are with the right partner in life, it isn’t really that hard.  When it’s right it’s right, you don’t have to make excuses for them, they show up when they need to and they love you like no other.
- Have yet to see that happen, but time will tell.  I still believe a good relationship takes work, and I am more than happy to work hard on that when I find the right person.  I still believe in love, wholeheartedly.

Never EVER cut your friends out for a relationship, because they might not be there when your heart gets broken.
- I never EVER do that.  Have I not said enough how much I value friendship?

Do not obsess about getting married.  If you want to get married, set that intention.  And then set about becoming an amazing person you would want to be married to.
- Now I know.  I am writing down what I would want in a person to be married to and try to become that person first.

If you are making excuses for your boyfriend, dump him.  If you are constantly asking your friends for advice about him, dump him.  If you complain about your boyfriend to others, dump him.  If you always nag your boyfriend, dump him.  If your mom doesn’t like him….ugh…I hate to admit this – but she’s probably right, so dump him!  In other words, this guy isn’t bringing out the best in you nor is he rising to the occasion (and the occasion is YOU!) so why would you want to keep him? 

- This is interesting.  I never thought about this before, but maybe it's true?

On Wisdom -
Life is LONG.  Longer than you can imagine.  Move at a pace that feels natural to you.  Do not listen to the expectations of others. 
- I recently got hung up on some comments from an old friend and parents that drove me nuts.  But I got over it pretty quickly.

The best is yet to come! 
- Hell yeah!

Extra -
Live abroad -

- Done that in my early days.


Learn a second language.

- Learned third and forth language and going to learn fifth.


Volunteer -

- Never stop doing that.


More from me -

I have determined to live a fabulous life since three years ago no matter what happens.  I have let go a lot of my baggages and embrace what I have now.  I thought I couldn't love again but in fact, I am more than willing to give than take in a relationship at this point.  I used to love someone more than myself and that feeling was wonderful.  I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

 

 

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