Over the past few weeks, my conversations with different groups of friends somehow always involved the Myers Briggs test.  I didn't think this test is always a true indicator of one's personality even though I majored in Psychology. 

Because of these conversations, I have been reading more about personalities and relationships (hadn't done that since graduated from school).  Friend Jade introduced me to a book called "The Witch of Portobello".  I found an idea from the book that's quite interesting and got me thinking about the subject further.  It says "...extroverts are unhappier than introverts and have to compensate for this by constantly proving to themselves how happy and contented and at ease with life they are."

In the web2.0 world, it's so easy to channel these "happy and contented" messages across.  It also reminds me of an article written about a Facebook friend of mine - So open it hurts.

In addition, I also read an article about types of women that men avoid.  One of them is "The Party Girl" type of women - "It's hard to have a healthy relationship with a person who is masking major problems underneath his or her party hat.  Plus, we all know that people who can't amuse themselves without mind-altering substances just aren't any fun when the party is over."

Sounds familiar...

What do you think?

Who would have thought I would become friends with my ex's ex?  And we both don't talk to our same ex anymore (well I happened to exchange emails with him not long ago after years of not talking to each other).  Love hanging out with her, she is definitely a sweet heart.

The best part is, I am totally over him - self-tested one more time with exposure therapy.  Cheers to life. :)

I said that I would seriously separate my professional and work life on the Social Media in my previous post (now deleted).  Over the past 48 hours I got surprisingly quite a lot of my Facebook fans and Twitter followers DMing me not to and how much they enjoy my posts and status updates.  I have to admit that I changed my mind after hearing all the support from my social networks.  

On my way home one evening, I was listening to NPR about a college student who started a project called "What would you say to your 20-year-old self?" - she asked mature women (in their 30s and 40s) to write a letter to their 20-year-old selves.

I just had a birthday two weeks ago, and it's time for a self-reflection again.  I am inspired by this project and decided to write a letter to my 20-year-old self too.  And I hope this is therapeutic.

Dear Elsa at 20,

Please always follow your heart.  I understand growing up in Asia you inherited the "group think" mentality.  You do whatever others think is the right thing to do.  You are bored out of your mind when studying accounting and management theories that don't make sense at that time, but you still majored in business because all your girlfriends are preparing for the CPA.

Please don't take shortcuts.  I know you are so broke in college because your parents don't pay a penny for your education, but you could have gotten into a better university.  You chose the not-so-good one in Toronto because it's closer to the city so you can bartend to support yourself and it offers a shorter program. You will end up not enjoying school at all.  You will take a year off from work, cash out all your stocks from Google, and went to a very good school to study psychology.  However, that year will be time very well spent.

Living in Montreal for two years shapes who you are; the food, the fashion, and the beautiful French culture and language make you a person with good taste.  Learn some French even though you are still struggling with English.  You will enjoy conversations with the Parisian more when you go to in France a few years later.

Going through quarter-life crisis was daunting, but it teaches you how to make rational decisions in the future without hesitating and ruminating stuff for too long.  Take risks with the right reason and deal with the consequences later.  Money and security are less important than valuable experience at this age.  You will regret not moving to New York City or London when you have the chance, but it's never too late, that thought comes back when you are in your 30s.  You waited 10 years to move closer to San Francisco, but you will be glad to get out of the suburbia trap. 

You will meet a wealthy guy who buys a BMW M3 and Mercedes CLK and let you drive them as if they are yours and pampers you with all kinds of luxuries in life.  But, he is a bad news.

You will end up marry someone you love but not totally in love with.  You are too young to get married.  You will have too much temptations and won't know how to be a good wife in your mid-twenties.  Thank god you are still good friends with your ex.

You are spending way too much time being someone's girlfriend till 31.

Don't be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, and no matter how hard you try to be the best girlfriend possible for him, he is still hung up with his exes.  He is just not that into you and definitely not worth your tears.

Choose your friends wisely.  You will finally learn to be around with people who are responsible, smart, kind, and can be good influences for you. 

You need to take care of your health and the genetic issues although they are invisible and not contagious.  They paralyze you for many years. You could have been happy much earlier had those issues being taken care of sooner.  Stop being overly conscious about your body, you are only 91 lbs from starving yourself before graduation.  

I am very proud of you because you are adventurous and a world traveler. You always meet local people and be friends with them even though you don't speak their language.  Thank you for being open-minded and choosing America to be your permanent home.  You love and enjoy the cultural diversity and the beautiful nature in California, and you will date men and meet friends from all over the world.

I am glad you are very financially responsible.  Growing up having parents who are completely clueless with money taught you that.  You will be glad being debt free and able to pay off half of your apartment by 35.  It's good that you are never into designer purses and stop obsessing about fancy sport cars at some point.

Hey, you haven't found your greatest love yet, but don't lose hope.  He will come. :)

This year, every single one of your exes sent you warm birthday wishes by phone, emails, or Facebook message of some sorts.  I guess you are not that bad of a partner after all.

Love,

Elsa in her 30s

"It was almost like a closure — 'I know you made mistakes, I know your 20s were hard, but things are good now and I'm going to let these things go,' " - Cassie Boorn

Just got back to my desk totally pissed off from the Geek Girl Dinner event that we (Yahoo!) sponsored it.  Why?  Okay, this is a "women in tech" event, and we had one of our VP of engineering to talk geek on stage.  People (who claimed themselves to be geek women) totally were just chit chatting at the back and made the whole place super loud that I could barely hear the speaker.  Come on women, and you wonder why you can't break into the glass ceiling and be a leader of tech company or any corporation?!  Because you don't even understand the basic social etiquette - be respectful and shut your fucking mouth when others are talking.  I understand some of you were here for free food and drinks and not really that interested in tech, but please, show some professionalism and be considerate.  I almost walked up to the stage to tell everyone to shut up.

I am super... mad.

Before asking me what "isotope exchange" is, please refer to Tara Hunt's post - Where are you from. And Tara, if you happened to see this post, I would like you to know that reading some of your stories feels like talking to myself.  I would very much like to take you out on a date when I go back to Montreal again (probably this fall). :)))

Dear A, while you are talking on the phone with your client on my patio right now, I have decided I will pose for your artwork.  Reason number one - it was a great isotope exchange with you today, I see things a lot more clearer now; reason number two - I don't want you or anyone to think I lost my sense of boldness, especially I have promised you this before but I backed out for a moment.  I rarely break my promises and do walk the walk.

I have not been able to stop crying since this morning when my ex (Odie's dad) told me our little dog got Mast cell tumor.  He had hidden the news from me because I am currently on vacation in New York so that I wouldn't get too upset the past few days.  I am trying to cancel all my activities tonight and see if I could catch an earlier flight home (I am supposed to leave tomorrow early in the morning).

This cancer could be fatal if Odie doesn't get operated on Wednesday.  It is not a rare disease but the location of the cancer cells are situated right above his left retina, which means one of his eyes might have to be taken out.

Odie has always been a healthy dog.  As optimistic as I always am, I am very traumatized this time.  It is not even about the sad feeling I might have from potentially losing him, it's about me not wanting my baby to suffer.

Thanks to those who have called to make sure I am ok today, I'll keep you all posted if there is any progress.